A Foreign Language

I have thought about this many times in my 31 years of life, although much more in the past several years. And yesterday, the town of Estes Park, CO provided me with a concrete example to share.

Drew and I went for (what I had hoped would be) a “relaxing” snow shoe outing in RMNP. Needless to say it was a balmy 19 degrees with a wind chill of 4 degrees, icy snow blowing in my eyes and snotsicles forming on my nose, leaving me with a cold this morning. But I digress.

We returned to town to get some much-earned, deliciously hot coffee, and noticed a father and his daughter, I presume, standing on a rock near the exit of main street. As we approached they each waved their hands in the air and smiled childishly at each other as they encouraged us to wave back. I’m happy to tell you that they were successful and we smiled and waved in return, despite our initial hesitation. Drew was even so kind as to give them a honk of the horn, which clearly made their day!

Pulling into the parking space of our destination, I looked at Drew and asked him, “When did people become so skeptical of someone saying ‘Hi’ or waving at them?” We, too, were guilty, no doubt, but WHEN and WHYYYY? It's unlikely that we'd be speaking a foreign language (but even if we did…). We are both human beings. We occupy the same planet and share the same oxygen. The list goes on and on. But WHY is it so “unexpected” to have another person wave and simply say “Hi?” Sad, isn’t it?

Somewhere along this journey of life, I think we start believing lies. Think about it: children don’t hesitate when their fellow-playground-climber says “Hi”. But growing up and being adults complicates things. We allow outside sources to control all the input our brains receive, for better or worse. We make up our minds based on these so-called “facts” which we choose to accept or reject. Then we continue to push further and further into our own opinions, surround ourselves with those we consider like-minded and, slowly but surely, begin to build up an utter disgust for anyone who may think differently. Surely everyone else is ill-intentioned. We’ve created some sort of hateful lie out of half-truths and assumptions, all built on securing our own, not-fully-accurate opinions.

It’s almost as if our minds have found their favorite Instagram filter based on a single event in the past. Maybe it happened to us personally. Maybe we heard one news report on how it went down. Perhaps we didn’t like what we heard or it’s even possible that we thoroughly agreed with how things panned out. From this standalone event, our mind creates a “filter” based on our perception and emotions...based on how WE FEEL. From that point forward, any occurrence that falls into a similar category will be added to this album and soon, that generic filter selectively defines everything you see and hear.

After all the happenings of this new year, regardless of what side of the fence you find yourself, I’d like to challenge you to be different. I truly believe that a majority of American’s are well-intentioned, regardless if you agree with their beliefs or not. I’m asking you to be the person who starts taking nails out of the very fence you find safely dividing you from “others”. Strip away the boards that “protect you" from your fellow human beings.

There are some who want to be a “voice” for someone, but have we actually taken the time to speak TO that someone? Had an impact in their very life? I’m asking honestly. Many of you have, and that’s to be applauded and respected beyond any doubt. Many of us haven’t. We typically just have an opinion, skewed by a filter we created long ago, that we feel the need to voice. Many will choose to keep their fence up, and even reinforce it. They'll surround it with a brick wall and top it with barbed wire because letting any “other” in would be just too darn uncomfortable. They'll keep their preferred filter firmly in place and continue on with the way things are.

Let's take a step back for a second: We have all been offended in one way or another, folks. Every “ism” out there has been categorized, clustered, judged and discriminated against in some way. We’re obviously all angry about something or at someone and we're all guilty of causing anger. But instead of kicking down fence posts, we build stronger, harder to penetrate forts around our minds, our hearts, and our very lives. Our energy is spent reinforcing our own stance, preventing intruders, and staying nice and cozy in our bubble. Because how could anyone “else” possibly have anything valuable, meaningful or worthwhile to say?!

PSA people: Nothing that is ever worth any value to this world will be EASY or comfortable!

I haven’t done any of my 31 years of life perfectly. But the past few weeks have pulled my empathetic-soul in a million different directions. I know that I can’t fix everything but that doesn’t stop me from taking steps forward, one foot at a time. It will be hard. It will be challenging, and, at times, uncomfortable. But we need to start talking TO each other again. Not at each other. Not divided by walls. Stop letting outside sources feed your political agenda, leading to a more secure fence. Leave your political agenda at home. The only agenda you have is to U.N.D.E.R.S.T.A.N.D. another human being. One that you’ve never met before. That you know nothing about. That you can’t possibly relate to because they are “different” than you. Get outside your precious little bubble, whatever shape or size it may be and broaden your perspectives on life. Don't argue. Don't come "armed" and ready to shoot down another perspective: this isn't the O.K. Corral. Hear other viewpoints. Learn where they come from. Bond with your fellow man. Hear why they are angry. Sympathize with the injustice they feel. Communicate. Listen. Find humility. Tear down walls and become a bridge builder.

Here's what I plan to do. Step number one: Form a Be the Bridge to Racial Unity group through my church. I am determined to break down walls. That includes my own as well as those built by others. Then we will work side-by-side to build bridges, piece by piece. If you’d like to learn more about this awesome curriculum and the amazing conversations being started by it: Click Here.  

But the question remains...

What will you do to connect with your fellow man? I suggest you start today by simply saying “hi”.